Ok, all dressed? Good. This is important work. Let’s go. Walkies is my very favourite time of day. Morning walkies? That’s fun, though I’m seldom completely awake. Still, there’s a subtle magic to the first long pee of the day – as if all those rabbit and cat dreams are pent up and need to get out. I walk funny at the start of a walk – sort of sideways – like my legs have forgotten how to coordinate. The midday walk is the long one – usually with the old guy. We cover a lot of ground and I’m usually quite tired by the time we get home. It’s not just the walking that’s tiring, but all the other obligatory walk-related activities. It goes like this: ok, we’ve left, so now what? Sniff, sniff. Ooh a rabbit poop! Run run run. Trot. Study (staring, actually). Rabbit at ten o’clock – nope, not in range. Ooh, child at three o’clock – definitely in range coming out of the front door of that house. Lunge lunge – snap! Darned short leash. Just a sniff – pleeeeeeease? Different – not like a puppy at all – more like soap and some other acrid smell – not sure what that could be. Ok, over there now – it’s absolutely critical that I go over there now. Aww, nothing but an old beer can – hmmm, still some beer in it. Better not – I remember the last time. No wait, that was brandy – but that’s another story. What this? A great big, tightly-coiled, dry – nope, it’s just bit of rope. Here’s a metal thing that looks like a – LOOK OUT FOR THAT CAR!! Uh-oh – I recognize this place – the one with the great big dog – speaks with a German accent. Ack all up in my face like he own da joint! Oh wait, he does. Hurry-hurry! I gotta do number two – not far from home now – gotta sniff everything, talk to everyone. That’s a leaf. There’s a bag of garbage, some grass clippings. Oh look, someone left their cell phone on that trailer. The grass is wet tonight – was it raining? I guess that means a foot wash! Oh, there’s the house. Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniiiiiiff. Ooh, a kibble! Nope, yuck. A turd. Sit? Sit? What am I, a dawg!? You never make me sit before crossing the road anymore – that was kid stuff. Now we just keep going. So when is the next walk? That’s the longer one – the one with the old guy. As long as that? Oh, ok. I guess. Sniff. Sure I’m done. Uh-oh, I forgot to poop. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to hold it ’til next time.