Attack!

So I sat down with Jay on the couch last Friday. There was something I wanted to tell him.

“Hey, buddy, how was your day?”
“Terrible!”
“Oh? How come?”
“I was attacked”
“Attacked?!” He was shocked.
“Uh-huh.”
“By whom?” He’s such a stickler for grammar.
“By a big yellow dog.”
“A big yellow dog…” he mused.
“Yes. A big yellow dog.”
“What kind of big yellow dog?”
“Em called it a – um – reverter or receiver, or something like that.”
“Oh, you mean a Golden Retriever!”
“Do I? Ok. Actually, that does sound more like what Em said.”
“So they don’t usually attack. Did you say something to him?”
“No. All I said was ‘hey, big yellow dog, come over here and say hi, come and play, please come and play, come and say hi to me I’m nice and I think we could be really good friends’ for a few minutes over and over – not too much. I guess he got away from his pet human and he had his jaws on my shoulders and I was very scared.
“You were very scared?”
“I was very scared. Em said I squealed like a little girl, but I kind of resemble that remark.”
“How would you describe it?”
“I wouldn’t. I would say I fought back and beat the poop out of him.”
“That’s what you’d say?”
“That’s what I’d say.”
“Would Em agree with that?”
“No, but he’s confused because it was such a big dog.”
“Any marks?”
“I didn’t know I was being graded.”
“No, I mean did the attack leave any permanent marks?”
“Oh. No.”
“Well, that’s something then, isn’t it? How did you frighten him off then?”
“I gave him a look.”
“What look?”
“This one.”

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About James McDonall

I believe in laughing, especially at yourself, and as often possible. I believe in "live and let live". I believe that communication is the foundation of all our solutions. I believe that listening is more important than speaking, and that speaking should serve the cause of listening. If you like my writing, I'm available for hire. Please send me an Email to discuss your project. View all posts by James McDonall

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